Anxiety

Anxiety, Social Media, and Being the Perfect Me

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I think it’s safe to say we have all experienced scrolling through social media and being overwhelmed with envy. A feeling of not being good enough. Not having the best photos, not cooking the perfect meal for your family, not throwing the perfect birthday party for your kid, not having the perfect wardrobe.

Man, this feeling is one of the worse feelings around. It leaves you comparing yourself to total strangers. Wondering if you’re good enough. If you’re wasting your life. If you’re being the absolute best that you can be.

Let me put it bluntly for you: fuck that noise. As someone who still struggles with the social media blues, I can honestly say it’s just not worth it. What is worth something is my mental health. Staring at perfectly framed and lit pictures of perfect people doing perfect things all day can really trigger my anxiety. I start to over analyze every little decision I make through out the day. Should I have made the orange my kid just ate look like a pretty little owl before I fed it to him? Should I be doing my hair and makeup every morning instead of grabbing extra sleep even though I wont see anyone but my husband and kids all day? And once you start to sit there and think everything you do is wrong it becomes painful to continue to do anything.

Entering the world of social media as part of your job turned out to be one of the most stressful things I have ever had to do. It used to just be a way to post photos of adventures and give friends and family updates on what was going on in my life. Suddenly it became a way for strangers to judge me. A new, fun way to compare myself to that perfect Pinterest mom. A way for me to feel just not good enough in a world of perfection. I learned a long time ago I was never going to be perfect. And I thought I had come to terms with that. But when I decided it was time to expand my business from taking commissions from friends and family to reaching out on the internet for new customers I quickly realized I hadn’t quite come to terms with it like I thought I did.

Over the course of the 2 years I have been using social media to promote my business I haven’t had the most followers, the most interaction and my main source of revenue is still commissions (although now it expanded to some through Instagram). At first this was crushing for me. I felt like I was a complete and total failure. Then I realized that I wasn’t having any fun with it. I stressed too much about perfect photos and not about the quality of the content I was providing. I felt like I always had to have a mask of perfection on. And why would I want to build a business and career for myself that I didn’t love? I became a stay at home mom because it’s what my heart told me I needed to do. So why wouldn’t I listen to my heart on this? And you know what? Ever since I’ve started to be myself on these platforms I’ve gotten more followers(still not a crazy amount), started enjoying my time doing it, and have gotten the courage to get out of my comfort zone and my head and start to explore blogging and pattern writing. And even if I’m never the most successful craft person in the world, I still have spent my time doing something I love and being happy about it.

 

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